‘I refuse to go to my own birthday party as I don’t celebrate – my friends won’t cancel’

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Most of us enjoy doing something special for our birthdays – whether that’s throwing a party, going out for a nice meal, or just spending time with the people we care about.

But not everyone likes to celebrate the day they were born, and if you’d rather not acknowledge the date in the calendar, then that’s your choice.

That’s the decision made by one woman on Reddit, who has found herself at loggerheads with her close co-worker and friend, who is demanding she throw a surprise party for the woman’s birthday – even though she’s said she isn’t interested.

The woman explained that she has never been a fan of celebrating her birthday, but now feels as though she has to attend the party her colleague is throwing because she’ll “humiliate” her if she doesn’t.

In her post, she wrote: “My birthday is in July, I don’t celebrate it. My idea of celebrating is staying home and getting black-out drunk so I don’t remember.

“Recently, a close coworker named Grace found out when my birthday is and has been on my a** about what my plans are. Because I don’t feel like having that kind of conversation, I just told her I don’t celebrate and I’m going to stay home and relax.

“However, word got around to me that she was planning a huge birthday surprise and I told her not to bother because it would just be a waste of money. She got defensive, saying I’m too young to hate my birthday and she already invited a whole bunch of people so I had to go.

“I’ve already requested the week of my birthday off. Would I be the a**hole if I just stayed home and ignored everyone for the whole week including my birthday? Grace will probably be humiliated if I don’t show up but I really don’t feel like pretending to have a good time.”

Commenters on the Reddit post were largely on the woman’s side, as they said that she told her colleague not to throw her a party, so shouldn’t be forced to attend one that she didn’t agree to.

One person said: “You’re not the a**hole regardless of the reason. It could be as simple as ‘I don’t like parties’ and what she is doing would be inappropriate.

“And let this be a reminder to all – when someone doesn’t respond to a situation the way you think they should, rather than pushing them to see it your way, you should remember that each of us has our own path and our thoughts and feelings are valid for us.”

While another added: “People who force a party on someone else who’s made it clear they don’t want it don’t actually care about them, they just want a party for themselves. It’s selfish and disrespectful.”

And a third wrote: “Grace is ignoring your wishes which is a sign that this party she’s throwing is more for her than for you. Stay home and do what you want.”